To the guy standing out in the sun taking my order in the drive-through line at In-N-Out: I see your smile, and I appreciate it! (Side note for those who are In-N-Out deprived: when the lines are long they send someone out to the cars in line to take orders before you get to the electronic ordering screen—it really speeds things up, and actually makes the whole experience more personal.) With so many of us wearing masks for most of 2020, it is more important than ever to have a genuine smile, even though your mouth is covered—because your smile can be seen in your eyes. The In-N-Out guy’s eyes were crinkling—and even though I couldn’t see his mouth behind his mask, I could tell he was smiling. He was smiling a Duchenne smile. That inspired me to smile. 😊
But I do miss seeing the corners of a mouth turning up in a gentle smile. I miss a big ole’ toothy grin! I miss the smiles when I crack a bad joke. I even miss the smiles when I say something silly or forget why I came into a room. I miss them all! But, strangely enough, I can almost visualize the smile behind the mask when the eyes are twinkling at me. I love knowing the person I’m talking to is smiling, even though I can’t see the actual smile. I love that God created our eyes to smile and sparkle and shine when we smile a real smile! That’s a Duchenne smile.
One of the signs of genuineness in a friendly smile is if you can see the smile in their eyes. If you can, you know it’s a Duchenne smile. How many times have you read something like this in a novel: “Her smile didn’t reach her eyes.” It’s a clear way to show that she is either faking it or is totally disinterested. And with a mask on, well, if your smile doesn’t reach your eyes then, seriously, don’t even bother. Because no one will ever know whether you are smiling or not.
Are you curious yet about what a Duchenne smile is?
According to healthline.com, it’s a smile that “reaches your eyes, making the corners wrinkle up with crow’s feet. It’s the smile most of us recognize as the most authentic expression of happiness.”
“A Duchenne smile is a genuine form of smile where a person is experiencing joy. A person isn’t smiling because they feel like they need to; it’s real. It’s not a social smile where you’re keeping up with appearances and smiling because you think you should be at the time. You smile this way when you’re genuinely experiencing happiness.” (betterhelp.com)
“A genuine Duchenne smile involves a crinkling of the corners at the edge of the eyes. A non-Duchenne smile is focused predominantly on the muscles around the mouth. Non-Duchenne smiles are also referred to as ‘Pan Am smiles’ [there’s a bit of cultural literacy for you!] or ‘Botox smiles.’ This type of smile might over-engage the mouth muscles while failing to include the eyes.” (regain.us) This phenomenon is named after Guillaume-Benjamin-Amand Duchenne (de Boulogne), a French neurologist who greatly advanced the science of electro-physiology. He discovered that “a genuine smile, one that results from genuine happiness or pleasure, engaged the muscles around the mouth and eyes, unlike a fake smile.” (reference.com) Does this fascinate you as much as it does me?
No? Well, now is probably the perfect time to bring songs into the picture then, wouldn’t you say? I’m not sure I could write a post about smiling without a few songs to keep us company. The most obvious one that’s been chasing around in my brain for days (if not weeks) is, “When Irish Eyes are Smiling.” Note that it doesn’t say “lips,” because, again, those lips can smile insincerely. But those smiling eyes…. 😊And even though I don’t actually know any more of the words to the song, I love that one line because I was born on St. Paddy’s Day, which gives me honorary “Irish eyes,” right? I promise, they are smiling! And when your eyes are smiling, your mouth follows along. Try it—you can fake a smile without your eyes smiling, but you can’t smile with your eyes without your mouth smiling in harmony. Try it! Try smiling with your eyes but don’t let your mouth move. Without the mouth smiling, it just looks like you’re squinting! No sparkle, no twinkle. You can even feel the difference in your eyes. It takes two to tango smile. Okay, three if you count both eyes and the mouth. But now you’re just being nitpicky. 😉
Real smiles are so contagious! You‘ve probably heard the Zig Zigler quote, “When you see someone without a smile, give him one of yours.” It’s pretty hard to resist someone who is smiling at you. It can be done, but it marks you as unfriendly or a grinch. And who wants to be a grinch? Lots of well-known singers, from Louis Armstrong and Frank Sinatra to Michael Bublé, have sung the classic, “When you’re smilin’, when you’re smilin’, the whole world smiles with you…” Steve Maraboli, in Poems About Change, emphasizes the impact of a smile: “Smile at strangers and you just might change a life.”
In my small town, and in most places I’ve lived, if you smile at someone coming your way, most will return your smile. It’s good manners and friendliness! Once in college I was feeling down, so I thought I’d say hi and smile at everyone I passed. Talk about lifting my spirits! It really takes you out of yourself when you concentrate on smiling at other people, and it makes their day, too. Such a simple thing. But so powerful. In fact, when I interact with strangers and those who serve us at stores and restaurants, even though it’s curbside now, if they are not smiling I make it my mini-mission to try to coax a smile out of them with my friendliness. I feel like it makes their day better, and I know it does mine!
I think it’s important to remember how much our smiles can mean to someone else. It’s hard to stay in a negative frame of mind and still smile. Being positive and smiling can lift your own mood and the mood of those around you. William Arthur Ward said, “A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.” We all probably know someone who lights up the room with their smile. People are drawn to them because they respond to the joy and kindness in their smile. I am inspired to try to be that person!
It’s also hard to be gloomy when you’re smiling. Even if you’re going through hard times, a smile can help you get through them. Nat King Cole sang, “Smile, tho’ your heart is aching, smile, even though it’s breaking…” with the concept that if you can smile, you’ll make it through. And isn’t that something we all have done at one time or another—smiling through the tears? Maybe not immediately after the tough things—but when someone can bring a smile to your face it tells you you’re going to make it, and that’s a priceless gift. Smiling doesn’t always have to mean you’re happy. Sometimes it means you’re strong. It also doesn’t mean your life is perfect. But God blesses us every day, and that’s something to smile about. As Thich Nhat Hanh said, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”
Debbie Hampton, in her blog The Best Brain Possible, writes:
“Each time you smile, a little party happens in your head.
Seriously.
Science has shown that smiling increases your health and happiness on the spot and long-term – maybe even to the point of helping you live longer. Your smile also benefits the people around you.”
Each time you smile, a little party happens in your head.
– Debbie Hampton
I’ve always heard it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, but there’s scientific proof that the simple act of smiling also lifts your mood and lessens stress—whether you feel like smiling or not. Interestingly enough, if you don’t feel like you have anything to smile about, you can “fake it till you make it” and will still receive some of the benefits of smiling. Hampton writes, “According to the Facial Feedback Theory, the feedback from your skeletal muscles used in facial expressions plays a causal role in regulating emotion and behavior.
“Basically, there are two types of smiles. A forced smile, like for a photo or when you’re being polite, only uses the mouth to shape the smile. In a spontaneous, genuine smile, called a Duchenne smile, the mouth muscles and those encircling the eyes are engaged.
“Experiments found that even fake smiles produced lower heart rates and eased stress.”
But even though you may benefit from a fake smile, remember that a fake smile can’t be seen behind the mask! Smile a real smile and get those baby blues (or browns, or greys, or greens, or hazels) involved!
Hampton gives these five proven benefits of smiling and explains each point in her article here. I’ve added quotes to fit each of her points.
This cast-iron trivet was Mom’s. I was programmed to smile! 😊
You are more attractive when you smile.
- There is nothing more attractive than a nice smile. ~Charles M. Schulz
Smiling reduces stress.
- Smile, it’s free therapy. ~Douglas Horton
Smiling elevates your mood.
- The bigger the smile, the more frequent the smile, the more apt a person is to just be positive and healthy. ~Becca Earl, Positive Thinking
Smiling is contagious.
- Let your infectious smile infect the whole world with love and joy. ~Debasish Mridha
Smiling boosts your immune system.
- Smiling boosts our immune system and can help us live years longer than average. ~Tushar Verma
Clearly we should smile as much as possible—it’s good for us and it’s good for those around us!
That famous author Anonymous once said, “A smile is a window on your face to show your heart is at home.” When you smile while wearing a mask, especially, make sure your smile is genuine so that your eyes will also smile, crinkle, and sparkle. You’ve heard that your eyes are the windows to your soul. So smile behind your mask and let people see your heart and your soul. A smile is the one thing that’s okay to share during COVID!
Fala says, SMILE!
Smile to feel good.
Smile to make others feel good.
“Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” – Mother Teresa
Be the reason someone smiles today.
If you are into coloring or know someone who is, click here to access the form for this free printable zendoodle coloring page I just drew as inspiration to smile! Because it also subscribes you to my weekly newsletter and occasional goodies, you’ll be sent an email to confirm your subscription, and then you will receive the SMILE coloring page download. Just follow the instructions—it’s easy! 🤗
