When I was a young working mother, I felt like I was busier than everyone else I knew. I was proud of my ability to multitask, but all the things were sometimes overwhelming. You might feel the same way.
I had a colleague, though, who helped me realize I wasn’t alone. Every time I bemoaned the fact that I was soooooo busy and listed out all the things on my agenda, she invariably let me know that she had more on her to-do list and was even busier than I was.
Eventually I realized that most people were at least as busy as I was, and they probably didn’t appreciate my whining. And one-upsmanship wasn’t much fun when you were the one getting “one-upped.” So I stopped talking about how busy I was. It actually helped me to focus less on my busy-ness, and allowed me to feel a little more relaxed, instead of being overwhelmed with all I had to do.
We’re all too busy too much of the time.
That makes it hard to take good care of ourselves.
27 hours a day, 8 days a week
While I was thinking about this blog, my friend The Hallmark Channel decided to play a movie called “The 27 Hour Day.” Ironically, the star plays a woman who blogs, podcasts, and now is CEO of a company called—what else—“The 27 Hour Day.”
Her character gives helpful tips for saving time and making the most out of each minute of your day. To her, efficiency simply means you can fit in more things to do in 24 hours, so that it seems like you have 27 hours. And every minute of every day is scheduled with some time-saving life hack.
I was talking about this with my husband, and he mentioned the Beatles’ song “Eight Days a Week,” which is the same concept. The story goes that Paul was on his way to meet with John to write a song. He was in a hired car because his license had been suspended as a result of some pesky speeding ticket! As Paul tells it, he asked the chauffeur, “What kind of a week have you had? Have you been working hard?’ He then said to me, ‘I’ve been working eight days a week, Paul!’ After hearing that, I literally fell into John’s place, thinking, ‘That’s good!'”
And thus a song was born.
Relax
It reminds me of a motivational speaker I once heard who said that when she ended her talks ten minutes early, the women always loved it because now they had time to cram a couple more errands in before they picked up the kids or whatever. No relaxing allowed or even contemplated.
The woman in the Hallmark movie didn’t know how to relax. She had never taken a vacation, and the closest she had come to self-care was her recent teeth cleaning. Can you relate? She literally was busy all. the. time.
I usually don’t have that problem now that I’m retired, though I do have the occasional crazy-busy days or weeks. But I am a really good relaxer. Sometimes too good.
Even so, I don’t do many of the things that are hyped for self-care. You know, take a long bath in a soaker tub (I didn’t even know what a soaker tub was before HGTV!), get a massage, get a mani-pedi, read a good book (Oh wait—I do that one!), go shopping (back in the day, self-care meant buying a new hat to make yourself feel good), do yoga, have a spa day, meditate….
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of these, but self-care encompasses way more than that.
Big Deal
Some people have real trouble with the concept of self-care, seeing it as being self-centered or selfish. They may see it as a passing fad. At best, it can seem a little unnecessary and even unattainable for someone who feels too busy already. They may consider it a luxury they can’t afford, in either time or money.
But caring for yourself can make it much easier to meet the demands of work and the needs of those around us. It also helps us cope with everyday stressors and helps maintain our health and positive attitudes. Think about how we sometimes say goodbye with the parting words, “take care!” We’re literally asking them to take care of themselves.
It’s a big deal.
Self-care is about activities — big or small, done daily or occasionally — that contribute to your overall well-being.
RachEl wilkerson miller
I think an easy way to understand the importance of taking care of yourself is when flight attendants give those preflight instructions to the passengers. You know—the ones where they point out all the exits with gestures that are easily mimicked for a laugh. But one of the most important things they say is that if those oxygen masks drop down in front of you, always put your own on before helping your child with theirs. Obviously, the reason is that you’ll be no good to anyone if you don’t get that necessary oxygen. Take care of yourself first so you can take care of your child.
Breathe
Makes total sense.
That concept carries over into our daily lives. Sometimes we get so busy taking care of everyone else that we forget to take care of ourselves. We need to be able to recharge so that we have the emotional energy to do what we need to do. And if we don’t make a decision and a plan to take care of ourselves, we might not do it at all.
If we have trouble finding time for ourselves, we may need to schedule it in. Pencil in 10 minutes—on second thought, write it in indelible ink—to sit quietly taking in the day; listening to calming music; praying; lingering over a cup of coffee, tea, or cocoa; doing breathing exercises; stretching; drinking water; reading; journaling—you get the idea. Anything that allows you to focus on yourself in the here and now for a few minutes. It can help you face the day with energy and positivity.
It’s important to develop habits of self-care. If you don’t think you have time for it, that’s probably a sure sign you need it. It’s not a secret that self-care is essential to your health and well-being.
We can carve out time to do more pampering. But if that’s not your thing, you can be creative and think of activities that can calm you or make you laugh (which is also good for our health).
The list
Depending on what you can make time for and have access to, here are 15 ideas for random activities for self-care, preferably in addition to your 10 minutes a day.
- Watch laugh-out-loud movies, TV shows, or YouTube videos. Laughing is a great stress reliever. Conversely, sometimes you may have pent-up emotions and need the release of a good cry. In that case, watch a movie that brings you to tears because it’s so touching (not one that’s sad and depressing). Or watch videos of servicemen and women reuniting with their families. That always does it for me.
- Crochet or knit. You may have noticed one of the gold-medalist male divers in the Olympics clickety-clacking his needles through the yarn between dives, for mindfulness and relaxation.
- Go to a playground and hang out on the swings (just don’t take them from the kids!). Slide down the slide if you’re really brave.
- Hug your dog or cat. If you don’t have pets, go to your local SPCA and love on dogs or play with the cats. You may have to sign up as a volunteer—what a great idea!
- Plant flowers in pots, inside or outside. If your thumb is as “ungreen” as mine is, you can buy a bouquet at the grocery store instead.
- Cook your favorite meal. Even if no one else in your family likes it (spareribs and sauerkraut, anyone?).
- Take a long, leisurely walk and pay attention to the sights, smells, and sounds around you. If you can hear the birds singing where you live, you get bonus points.
- Bake a cake and decorate it, just for fun! If you don’t want to eat it, give it to a neighbor.
- Enjoy the night sky and do a little stargazing (you may have to drive a little ways to get away from the city lights). Identify constellations if you’re feeling nerdy or astronomical. Bonus points if it’s the season for the Perseids or other meteor showers and you see shooting stars!
- Wash your feet before bed. My mom always did this, and for years I thought it was because they were dirty. Now I think it was a little bit of pampering for someone who really didn’t pamper herself often. With four kids, it was a challenge.
- Write down what you’re thankful for, in a gratitude journal or wherever you can read it often.
- Spend time with someone who makes you feel good, and focus on making them feel good. When I was young my parents would let me walk over to visit Mrs. French, an old (I thought she was ancient) family friend. She was nearly deaf, and she let me “play” her piano and didn’t complain about me pounding the keys like my folks did. I think it helped that she couldn’t hear it. We both felt good in those hours spent together. I made her feel good and she made me feel good.
- Color in grownup coloring books with crayons, colored pencils, or markers (you can find mine here—no pressure!).
- If you have a zoo nearby, go spend time with the animals! Animals are cool!
- Send a card, call, or email someone you haven’t seen in awhile. You will make their day, and it will lift you up.
What are some other ideas for self-care that would help you to relax and recharge so you can live a more peaceful life? Let me know in the comments below. And while you’re down there, sign up for my email so you will know when I post.
Related posts: Here’s to Inspired Mornings
Joy through Inspiration
Inspired to Laugh out Loud
Trading Stress for Inspiration
By the way, the character in the movie wound up going to a retreat where she didn’t have cell service or WiFi, and there were no clocks. After a few challenging days off the grid she learned that for her, self-care meant slowing down, relaxing, and enjoying life more. Sounds good, doesn’t it?! She realized that spending time with those she loved was more important than being more efficient just so she could add more onto her already full plate. Oh, and she fell in love, because this was, after all, a Hallmark movie! 😉
Take care!
