Who here will admit that you watch Hallmark movies on TV? C’mon, raise your hand, and hold your head up high. I know that Hallmark movies are kind of looked down on or ridiculed by many people. But there are those of us who find happily-ever-after stories inspirational, entertaining, comforting, maybe even therapeutic. A good Hallmark movie can make the stress just melt away.
We proudly wear our T-shirts that proclaim things like “Today is a Hallmark movie kind of day,” or “Real men watch Hallmark,” as we settle in front of the television with a cup of cocoa and a crocheted Afghan, dogs at our feet. Judge if you want, but I feel no shame in watching sweetly romantic movies that portray minimal meanness (and the mean person always gets their comeuppance), genuinely kind townspeople, likable friends and family, chaste relationships, nice kids, Christmas in July, and a happy ending. I mean, what’s not to love, right?
Besides being inspirational, Hallmark movies can also be educational. In fact, I’m pretty sure you’ve come across most of these scenarios, even if you’ve only watched a few of their movies. But just to make sure you are well-informed, read on for my top ten countdown revealing some essential lessons you can pick up from Hallmark movies.
Top ten life lessons, courtesy of Hallmark movies
Ten
If you work for a big corporation, there is no way you’re gonna get that small-town property you want to build a resort on. You might as well give up before you even try. The entire town is against you. But if you are the one who owns the property they want to buy, start drawing up plans for an alternative to the resort. Because you’re going to fall in love with Mr. Corporate and you need a win-win situation. Save the town! You can do it!
Nine
If you have an amazing career and/or are an artist, dancer, or musician in The City and come home to visit, you should know that you’re fated to:
A. Get together with your old high school sweetheart and decide to leave your high-powered job (or your artistic fame) in The City to take a job teaching at your old school,
Or
B. Clash wits with the handsome new guy in town (after literally bumping into him), break up with your fiancé (if he hasn’t already dumped you and left you with a broken heart), and annoy the daylights out of Handsome while he’s making you crazy.
But eventually he will fall madly in love with you, which is good because you realize that somewhere along the line you fell in love with him, too. Be forewarned, though: every time you are about to kiss you will be rudely interrupted, and for some reason decide not to kiss after the interruption. Apparently you missed the moment. Seriously?!
Eight
If you’re from The City and get your dream job offer, you might as well accept the fact that you’re going to decide your heart belongs in the little town you grew up in. Or visited as a child. Or maybe you got stranded there with a handsome stranger.
It might be that you were sent to your hometown by your boss to write a magazine article which can get you a promotion back in The City. Or a move to another city. Which you will turn down, even though it’s your dream job. Because, after only knowing Handsome for a few days, or actually for just one movie, you give it all up for looooove.
Seven
If it’s Christmas time, the job of your dreams will require you—at the last minute—to leave your hometown on Christmas Eve and miss the Christmas Pageant, the best part of the movie—I mean, the holiday! This also will cause all kinds of trouble with your brand-new love, especially if there are children involved. The children will undoubtedly be in the Pageant.
Misunderstandings will abound, and mistrust will offend. But it will all work out, you’ll see. You’ll make the right decision and show up at the Christmas Eve Pageant after all. Surprise! (We always knew you would).
Six
If you’re one of those “always a bridesmaid, never a bride” kind of people, buckle up, Sweetheart, because you’re going to be the next bride, even if you didn’t catch the bouquet.
Get a clue! Everyone in town can see the romance blooming between you and Handsome. You’re the only ones that are clueless. Oh, and if either you or Handsome is estranged from the parental units, not to worry. That relationship, too, will be fixed before the final credits roll. This is Hallmark, after all.
Five
If you’re in a town called Christmas, Holiday, Garland, or maybe even Mistletoe, you can bet that mysterious little old white-haired man with a beard who is named Nick or Nicholas or Mr. Winter is really Santa Claus. Even though it will take you the whole movie to figure it out (sometimes you can be a little dense). And you’ll be so surprised, even shocked, to discover that those short people busily running all over town are…gasp!…Santa’s elves. Your true love may even—if you’ve been a good girl—be Santa’s son and heir apparent. Your future could involve flying reindeer! Sweeeeet!
Four
If you see your handsome new beau kissing or hugging his old flame, just let it go because it was a “goodbye, let’s be friends” kind of hug. Or kiss. No matter what it looked like. Don’t be so quick to jump to conclusions, because then the whole town will have to convince you that you and Handsome belong together. Get a grip, girl! Ain’t nobody got time for that drama.
Three
If you and Handsome pretend to be a couple to impress his boss and/or get your mother off your back or make your boyfriend jealous, you can bet you will be an actual couple by the end of the movie. But not before overhearing something that makes you think he’s still in love with that ex he was hugging and/or kissing.
Or his ex may be the conniving sort and convince you that Handsome is going to marry her, because she just can’t accept reality. So you decide to take your broken heart away and leave town, and we have to suffer through all kinds of mutual misunderstandings to get you to back to your happy ending. You should never EVER believe the ex. Just sayin’.
Two
If you spend lots of time with your best guy friend, you should know he’s always secretly been in love with you. Haven’t you noticed that he knows just how many marshmallows you like in your hot chocolate, what your favorite color is, and that you’re allergic to raspberries?
And now you’re gushing about how handsome that new guy is and ignoring the fact that he tried to feed you raspberries. You’re wondering like a sixth grader whether he likes you or not, and crying on your bestie’s shoulder. I ask you, is that fair?Do you really need the whole two hours to figure out that you and your best friend are made for each other? Everyone in town can see it! Well, at least the poor guy’s love for you will finally be requited. (So much better than unrequited love, don’t you think?)
One
If you fall in love with a prince, don’t despair. His mum the Queen may disapprove of you because you’re only a landscape designer, or an ice skater, or a matchmaker, or maybe even an actress—but she will come around before the end of the movie.
Even though her son knows he should not marry a commoner, much less an American, you’re obviously the one who makes him happy, so the royals will just have to eventually capitulate. Wait, that storyline seems sort of familiar…
I know there are lots of other sweet, touching, predictable romantic movies out there, but Hallmark has it down to a tee. They do it so well that you can even watch the same handful of actors and actresses in various roles in different Hallmark movies, and they make you believe that they are each new character they portray. And maybe it’s even better that they rotate through their cadre of actors, because you feel like you know them and enjoy seeing them in each new role.
Hallmark’s Christmas movies are so eagerly anticipated by fans all over that Hallmark spends the entire month of July showing reruns of movies from Christmas past. And at 110° in the shade in the summer in Central California, it’s just delightful to relax, kick your shoes off, and spend a little quality time in a quaintly decorated town with Christmas lights shimmering against the snow. You can almost forget it’s a billion degrees outside. It might even magically snow at the obligatory Christmas tree lighting ceremony, and you can pretend you’re there enjoying the wintry chill in the air, right alongside Handsome and Lovely.
Was Christmas in July a thing before, or did Hallmark invent it? Inquiring minds want to know…
But as you watch an endless parade of Hallmark movies, I have one small word of warning for you.
If you watch a Hallmark movie that ends at 10:00 p.m. your blind dog, who can’t tell time (can he?), will start nonstop barking 15 minutes before the end of the movie, because he has decided it’s time to go to bed.
This makes it almost impossible to catch the denouement—whether it’s a first kiss, a proposal, Handsome swooping in on a white horse to convince Lovely of his undying love (don’t laugh, I saw it in a Hallmark movie!), or the most romantic wedding ever. It might even be “one year later” and involve a new baby. But you miss it all because of Watson’s—I mean the blind dog’s—incessant barking.
Luckily, though, you already know…because it’s Hallmark…
…They lived happily ever after!
Sigh. ❤️
(You can read about our own “Hallmark movie” romance right here)
If you have your own lessons from Hallmark movies, I’d love for you to comment below! And sign up to receive my emails and get behind the scenes stories.
